The Problem with Selective Empathy
The recent honor killing in Balochistan has shaken people across Pakistan. The video of the brutal act shared widely online has drawn strong reactions – outrage, grief, and condemnation. Many voices, from citizens to celebrities, have spoken up in support of the brave woman whose life was taken so cruelly. But what’s deeply troubling is how the man who died alongside her is being left out of the conversation.
Two lives were taken in this horrific incident. Yet most of the public focus has centered on the woman’s story. Her suffering has rightly hit a nerve. But the man’s death deserves the same attention and empathy. Ignoring his story doesn’t just feel unfair but it helps create a one-sided view that limits how we understand violence and injustice.
It’s not the first time we’ve seen this trend. In Pakistan, and in many parts of the world, when violence involves both men and women, sympathy often flows more generously toward the woman. It’s not wrong to amplify women’s voices, especially given the long history of silencing and abuse they’ve faced. But it becomes problematic when this comes at the cost of disregarding the pain and humanity of others caught in the same tragedy. While the spotlight remains on the woman in this tragic incident, we must not forget the man who was killed.
The narrative we shape matters. When the media and the public only talk about the woman, they send a silent message that the man’s life somehow mattered less. But why should it? He was also a person with dreams, feelings, and relationships. He faced a brutal death just as she did. His story is also one of injustice. His right to love was just as valid, and it was brutally taken away. His story is also one of injustice and has been overshadowed in the narrative as if only one life was lost. Justice must be inclusive, and empathy should not be selective. If we truly want a society based on fairness, we cannot pick and choose whose suffering is worthy and whose is not.
By portraying this as only a “women’s issue,” we risk simplifying the complexity of what happened. We also run the risk of deepening the gender divide, making it seem like men are always the aggressors and women always the victims. Reality is rarely so black and white. Men can be victims, just like how women can be perpetrators too. Every case needs thoughtful attention, not a quick label.
Call for Inclusive Justice
What happens when we ignore one victim to highlight another? It sends a message not only to the families of those affected but to society at large. It tells us that some lives are more narratable, more sympathetic, more “shareable.” That’s a dangerous path. Injustice doesn’t care about gender and neither should our outrage.
Media has a major role in shaping how we think. That means they hold the power and the responsibility to report with balance. If they give both victims a voice, they help readers understand the full story. Not just a headline. They can help us mourn the woman without erasing the man. And they can help us challenge the violence without polarizing society.
This doesn’t mean we should stop fighting for women’s rights. That battle remains critical. But it does mean we should look at violence through a broader lens. Honor killings, for example, are not just about gender. They’re about control, fear, societal pressure, and misguided notions of shame. People of all genders can be caught in that fire. People of all genders deserve protection and empathy.
By sympathizing selectively, we also risk pushing away those who want to stand against injustice but feel alienated by the narrowness of the conversation. This isn’t about taking sympathy away from women. It’s about expanding it to include everyone who suffers. The more inclusive we are in our outrage, the stronger our stance becomes.
Every victim matters. Every life lost deserves to be remembered. If two people are killed, we should not honor one and forget the other. Pain doesn’t come with a hierarchy. Loss is loss. Tragedy is tragedy. So, as we condemn the brutal killing in Balochistan, let’s do so with full hearts and clear minds. Let’s see the victims as people, not symbols. Let’s tell their stories with honesty, complexity, and compassion. That’s the only way we’ll move closer to justice, not just for some but for all.
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The views and opinions expressed in this article/paper are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of Paradigm Shift.
Muhammad Bilal Khan is a journalist specializing in non-traditional security (NTS) threats. He is currently affiliated with the Institute of Strategic Studies Islamabad. He can be reached at [email protected].